Psalm 111:4-10 "His miracles are His memorial".
a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency.
"the miracle of rising from the grave"
"his recovery was a blessed miracle"
Approaching this week of Easter celebrations I can't help but be reminded of the absolute miracles I have seen in my life. Not only is it a celebration of the LIFE we have this week, but it is also the tenth anniversary of life becoming a series of miracles and reality. I want to share with you, what life is like-- being deeply found.
My childhood was marked with incredible love. The desperate, ache in your body love that desires so terribly to be enough. Two young people, desiring terribly to discover the secret to unlocking happiness in generations. I grew up loved, but afraid. For some reason, I was marked with reality of life and choices so very early. I knew that there was purpose, something beyond the beyond.
At 14 the damage of my family's desperate cry to mend the broken generations began to show itself in addiction. My sweet mama, such a wonderful momma started to lose to the pain. It wasn't constant, but the obvious door of pain and cries for redemption began in my soul.
By 19, life imploded when my brother took his life at 16 on April 18, 2007.
This. This is when the miracles began.
I view this terrrible pain of my life as miracle, because I found family and my family began to heal.
My brother and my family had visited a church called 'Milestone' in the DFW metroplex just a couple of times, a desperate plea to fix what was so falling apart. The day my brother passed away, the staff at Milestone reached out and set up meals for my family for 6 weeks, set up a funeral, set up a service, and cleaned out some of my brothers belongings to donate. I remember being so lost in a broken and abusive relationship, and coming to dinner every night. Women we had never met would leave cards, leave encouragement that their children were praying for us. How in the world could it be real that somehow even though the world was in a quick halt that there were people thinking of us, giving to us like they knew us? That the shame that comes from that kind of moment, was completely overlooked and welcomed.
My family moved out of state shortly after, and I found myself so very alone--- so without family. Then, one day sweet Betsy from Milestone called me and invited me to lunch. As we met at the steps of Willis Lane, she looked at me and said something so unbelievably profound... "Deborah, you will ALWAYS have place here, you are a daughter in this house." I was not orphaned. I was NOT alone. In fact, these people were the tangible hands and feet, the physical of Jesus.
if you have never experienced someone coming alongside your pain, as Christ so longs to come alongside us--- it is the most incredible, humbling, vulnerable, fufilling, and motivating experience.
In this season of healing I surrendered all that I was to this God, to this story, to these promises, that plucked me out of darkness and surrounded me with family.
"God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy." Psalm 68:6
The miracles stay.
In 2013 I embarked on an incredibly difficult season of reality and healing. The hard truths exist outside of trauma. The questions of "so if you say you are big God, then why?", questioning power, authority, will. The biggest question of all, "Lord, where were you?".
"I was right there, I wept as you wept."
In our hard moments. The one's where we can reference the things we have heard over and over about how God is supposed to be a healer, He is supposed to make things right, if I commit this to him-- then surely I will see the expected goodness. I went through a HARD season of PTSD. BUT the very moments I was the most lost, and the most desperate for comfort and family, women from Milestone Church came into my mess once again. I can't answer your delay, and I can't mend the broken. But, the one we celebrate this week can. The physical feel of an embrace can be delivered in the place where hope is bred at a church.
To be comforted while you weep, to be held while you ask the hard questions. To help remind you of the peace and joy that are SUPERNATURAL gifts, that we have to actively choose these.
So my encouragement is this:
1. Find a home. Who cares where it is (Milestone, Gateway, Hillside, so many GREAT churches!), and how far removed you are--- take that first step. Life is not meant to try to live alone... to momma alone, to pray alone, to survive alone, to battle for your children alone. I will be at Milestone church this weekend, at one of their 6 services online--- www.milestonechurch.com leave me a message and I will be there with you!
2. Don't live by your emotions and practicality. If you think too hard about it, then it doesn't compute... doesn't make sense. Miracles don't make sense. Choosing to believe in something more than what the physical means doesn't make sense. If we allow our emotions which are so so wrapped up in ourselves to define a miracle, to define our God we take away the miracle. We become the potter to a masterpiece we weren't designed to create.
I've seen the ultimate decisions made by emotions, and lonliness. But there are miracles, there is family, there is purpose beyond the beyond.
"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Eph. 2:10
(Stay tuned to tomorrow where I leave with you the miracle of spiritual family and the miracle of addiction.)